…is so easy to understand in the context of one’s child. One doesn’t need words.

I was with V today; saw her after 10 years. She has grandkids now and was talking about them fondly. I got teary eyed as she spoke because I suddenly realized how much I had missed A, who has been away from me for almost a week, she’ll be back in three days. It was a short separation as she graced her grandparents’ home for Spring Break week. But I have missed her so much in just this one week.

I see her everywhere, placing all her stuffed toys in comfortable sleeping positions all over the house and then covering them up in blankets. I see her drawings on the refrigerator, the painting of hers that I hung up on my office wall…she draws so well…this painting has a giraffe, a deer and dog prancing around in green, lily covered fields and her caption reads, “Beu -te- ful Mother Nature”. All eyes are drawn to it instantly, that’s the first thing my visitors see.

Today I hung up another one of her works…this one has two dogs, two cats, two people and pawprints and footprints everywhere in the background. The blurb here reads, “Love comes in twos.” Where does she come up with these! Every drawing is rich in colors with smooth lines, the effect is not childish, but very clear and distinct.

I told her once that I had never been able to draw animals well to which she responded,”Don’t worry Mommy, I’ll teach you.”

Then of course I keep thinking of the times I tell her, “I love you” and she is quick to respond, “I love you more” and then I say, “I love you more than that” and she says, “I love you even more than that plus infinity plus another infinity plus two thousand plus two hundred and forty eight…” and she can keep going, I am the one who needs to tell her she wins.

Most family times are at dinner tables, ours have switched to the basement gym where I am usually on the treadmill or the elliptical machine for an hour, little A hanging on the various arms of the nautilus like a little monkey and big A lifting weights until the role playing begins and the little one becomes Miss A the teacher and big A is given the role of Little Joey. She then proceeds to coach Little Joey in first grade Math, English and last but not least – the hula hoop!

Little Joey is especially bad at the hula hoop, he just can’t get it right despite Miss A’s excellent teaching technique.

Those are the best moments.

She left me a message today, her tone as clear as a church bells…or something else…the notes so rich…she tells me, “Mommy remember when you said we would do some planting and gardening together in the spring and summer? Remember you said we’d go buy seeds and saplings? Well, you don’t have to worry Mommy, I found seeds here, now we can get started on it soon as I come home. I have put them aside with a little note saying, ‘Please don’t touch’. It’ll be so much fun!”

I am not deleting that message ever, it sounds so good to me! I want to find a way to make it a .wav file and save it forever, replay it for her when it stops becoming obvious to me, ten or twelve years down the line, that she loves me infinity times two plus two thousand…

For now I understand love when I think of her, I recognize the warm glow of happiness at thoughts of her, the feeling of standing tall, at one with the universe and everything else as the smiling sun she’s so fond of drawing glints off her shiny hair and gentle face.


  1. you make me miss my mum….

  2. Yes, strangely Alankrita, I felt the same thing.Every time Dhanno goes away, and I miss her so, so much, I can't but help think of Teja's parents, my mother living in other towns, missing us. Love …

  3. this touched me a lot pragya..its a love we try to grasp and define but is difficult to express,isnt it?

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