Restarting Blog

I need to restart this blog.  It has been awhile. I haven’t had anything to say but hoping putting one word in front of another will get me somewhere.

I spent the last couple of years being dedicated to restoring my health, dropping pounds, turning vegan, trying running, earning a Yoga teaching certificate, and trying very hard to be extremely disciplined about saving more than spending.

I think about all the things that disgust me about myself; the way I don’t see things through, the boredom that sets in, the continued lack of motivation and ambition, an inability to make close and proximal (not virtual) friends.  I have friends all around the world.  Many of them are close and very dear to me.  But no one lives in northwestern New Jersey.  I can’t call on anyone just to shoot the breeze.  No hanging out/eating out buddies.  Sob, sob, poor old me! But I only have myself to blame for this isolation.  I have never really made an effort, never been able to sustain a connection.  I am preoccupied with this thought now as the years march along.  A normal person would know what to do having realized what’s lacking in their lives.  They would take some steps.  I am clueless.  I will wake up friendless again tomorrow morning and do the same things I did today.

There is something to be said for sameness.  It doesn’t get its dues.  It gets pooh-poohed.  Imagine getting a new day and a completely different set of circumstances to sort out each day? That would be a nightmare.  Life is messy and if the universe is leaving you alone in placidity, with minimal messes to sort, perhaps you should thank your lucky stars.

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